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Here are 5 Things I hear from people that just make me tilt my head and squint at them…

 

  • “I am just starting to tear the siding off my house for a DIY re-siding job.  I plan on using a cement fiber board for my siding.  I have one power saw and a hand saw to cut the wood with.  Which will work better…”

You’re kidding me, right?  

First of all nobody has used a hand saw to cut siding since Lincoln.  Never mind that fiber-cement siding eats power saw blades for lunch, your arm will be dead to you within 7 minutes.  Maybe 4 minutes…  Maybe by the time you are done reading this line…

 

  • “How long will it take my buddy and I to re-roof my house.  It is 1800 square feet inside.  Is this a good weekend project…”

You’re kidding me, right? 

Of course, this is a great weekend project for you and a buddy if you and your buddy include 10 other people – 7 of whom are professional roofers. 

No way you and a pal can do it in a weekend, or that you would want to once you peel off the old shingles, throw them in a dumpster – oh yeah – first get a dumpster, then peel off the old shingles and throw them in the dumpster.  You will only be up and down the ladder 1,500 times plus it will be about 142 degrees on your roof, and then…

 

  • This weekend I am planning on re-wiring my house.  What size wire and how much wire do I need…”

You’re kidding me, right?

If you have to ask, then you have no business wiring the odd light in the basement let alone doing your entire home…

I can see it in your eyes, you are going to try anyway.  You can use 14 gauge on lights and 12 gauge everywhere else, but sometimes some electricians will use 12 gauge everywhere.

I have no idea how much you need, although I will punch 9-1-1 on my phone and wait for your signal to press “Send”.

 

  • I was planning on digging out my crawlspace to add a basement to my house…”

You’re kidding me right?

This is one of my all-time favorites.  It usually includes the part about having a shovel and a wheelbarrow and a son to help.  Note, you will also need a foundation guy, a structural engineer, and about $150,000 cash.   Enjoy!

 

  • I am going to do some re-modeling in my house by myself and I would like to open up my kitchen.  This will require me taking out one wall altogether and a part of another…”

You’re kidding me right?

Actually, this one has the off chance of happening depending on which wall is being taken out and which one is being opened up.

Three words – load bearing wall.  If you don’t understand any of those three words, or the order in which they are being used, then call in a pro. 

That way your house won’t collapse on the guy digging out your crawlspace.